Every Sunday, I spend some time watching football, I also can’t focus, don’t like spending too much time in one place, and don’t like football that much.
Here are the thoughts I collected:
With two days of Playoff Football I decided to do two days worth of Kinda Watching Football.
- Brandi surprised me with Knicks tickets Saturday morning. With the two biggest stars injured (Melo and Amar’e out with knee injuries) and the two lesser, but entertaining stars traded for bullshit (Shumpert and Young Money Neck Tattoo J.R. Smith) the tickets were finally affordable. Go Knicks!
- Did you know you can’t bring food into the Garden? They literally stopped us and we had to wolf down Potbelly sandwiches and kombucha outside the gate before the game. Dickbags.
- The Knicks always show the celebrities from the crowd on the Jumbotron. Here’s a few:
- Hey, the guy from Orange is the New Black is here! What’s his name? Yeah, I don’t remember either.
- Shay “I don’t know who she is or what network her show is on” Mitchell from Pretty Little Liars is here, we may be looking at the last place B-team.
- Glen Frey is here, booooooooooooooo
- Warren Haynes is here, he may actually just be a friend of James Dolan’s family because I have no idea who the fuck he is.
- They played “Which Knicks Baby Picture is This?” on the Jumbotron. Well, we don’t really know what they look like now so this is going to be pretty difficult.
- Someone else just made that same joke.
- Embarrassingly, I actually recognize Amar’e’s baby picture from another game. (Fun with apostrophes!)
- They booed a baby picture! They booed a baby picture. (Andrea Bargnani)
- My car has been in at least 3 episodes of Blue Bloods, I’m wondering if I make her an IMDB page if I can get floor seats. I promise we won’t wear paper bags on our heads or bother Spike Lee.
- The half time show was the Kidz Bop Talent Search.
- The Kidz Bop Talent search inspired an absolutely stirring rendition of “Wanted (Dead or Alive).
- The Knicks are down by 40. It’s hard to imagine that some of these guys were ever considered good enough to play in the NBA.
- The natives are getting restless.
- I’m wondering if the Orange is the New Black Guy leaves, can I have his seat.
- Some wearing a collared shirt to a basketball game douchebag sat in my seat and he caught a t-shirt. I’m beside myself with rage, my wife can’t stop laughing.
- I needed the shirt as a bargaining chip to get the kid behind me to please kicking my goddamn seat.
- By the end of the game we were cheering every time someone actually made a shot and began ironically chanting MVP for Quincy Acy. A stadium full of sarcasm is something I’ve only found in New York.
- That’s all she wrote for the Knicks game, it felt like a triumph to only lose by 30.
- Off we went to The Bridges. It’s been so cold, we haven’t had a chance to go there in a while.
- The Pats/Ravens game is about to begin.
- Tony Dungy looks like a frail old man.
- Cris Collinsworth’s neck wrinkles remind that life is fleeting and precious.
- We moved on to my favorite coffee shop, Brooklyn Roasting Company in DUMBO. I’ve given up caffeine so this is a little frustrating, but an iced decaf americano was pretty wonderful.
- From there we headed to Henry Street Ale House in Brooklyn Heights. It was really cozy and nice, but the drinks were crazy expensive and there was a poorly placed lamp that made the HDTV worthless to everyone in the bar except perhaps one table.
- There’s a commercial where a dude hits a water balloon with a whiffle ball bat at a party and it looks fun, but seriously, if you actually did that everyone would look at you like a monster. One time I got drunk at a Halloween Party and then got bored and alone. I decided that punching my friend in the stomach would really get things popping. A collection of ghouls, goblins, superheroes, and pop culture references asked me to leave, but at least I didn’t his a water balloon with a whiffle ball bat.
- After that we headed to Pok Pok Phat Thai, a place we learned about when the owner was on Anthony Bourdain. Honestly, I’m not sure how I knew where to eat before my wife told me all the places she saw on TV.
- We ended the night the favorite, Angry Wade’s.
- Kam Chancellor jumped over the offensive line twice to attempt to block a field goal. He was unsuccessful in blocking the kick, but he was successful in getting someone next to me to grab my shoulder with excitement.
- I do not support the NFL’s decision to put puffballs on all of their official sideline hats.
- We went to Greenwood Park to watch the Packers play the Cowboys. Thanks to our Wisconsin past we actually had a team to root for that was actually capable of winning.
- The game was great and I got to eat chicken wings without guilt, all in all a great day.
- It’s time for Girls and Shameless. I am so happy good TV is back.
- Have a great week.