Every Sunday, I spend some time watching football. I also, can’t focus, don’t like spending too much time at one place, and don’t like football that much.
Here are the thoughts I collected:
– The Jets lost on Thursday and the Giants didn’t play until 4p so we were in no hurry. We went to Burger Bistro to cash in a Living Social coupon.
– Here’s a weird point of contention of which I am probably on the wrong side: We were riding our bikes to the restaurant. I crossed against the light and nearly missed a gentlemen crossing the street. Without hesitation, knowing I was wrong, I quickly said “I’m sorry.” He then continued to yell at me. All I could think was how embarrassed that guy would’ve been if I would’ve just rained blows upon his noggin in the street. There sure would’ve been egg on his face. I guess what I’m saying is: 1. If someone says they’re sorry and there is no actual damage let it go, 2. In general let stuff go if there’s little threat of recidivism, and 3. I listened to too much Limp Bizkit in High School.
– We went for the Burgers, we stayed for the Buzzworthy 1994-1997 MTV Playlist.
– If you’re ever mad at your spouse sing Stone Temple Pilots to her, preferably ‘Big Empty’. About the third time they hear you howl “her deezy head is conscience laden” they’ll be sorry for whatever injustice they’ve been accused of, real or imaginary. There may be no activity on this planet with a higher fun for you/not fun for everyone else in the room correlation.
– We walk out the door while Chris Cornell regales us of how he’d like to “blow up the outside world”.
– We made our way over to Angry Wade’s, a Wisconsin themed bar in Cobble Hill, Brooklyn who makes the best Bloody Mary in the borough and whose name I didn’t know after at least three years of going there.
– When we got in there Washington was playing Tennessee on the big screen. I swear to god one of the players looked me in the eye and shrugged.
– Remember what I said about Stone Temple Pilots? You could also substitute Jefferson Airplane for a saucy reminiscent feeling of retrospection.
– Do you think the Dolphins wake up every day and think “damn, I have to wear teal today”?
– I want to meet the guy whose girlfriend cuts her hair short of he goes “yes”. I’m not saying some men don’t like short hair. I’m saying no man has ever celebrated the switch from long to short. I already hate how misogynistic that sounded, but I’m leaving it in.
– You know what I said about the Dolphins? I think the bazinga guy must feel the same way when he puts on those ridiculous super hero t-shirts. I would describe it something along the lines of “I hate this, I look ridiculous, but this will help me make millions.”
– A woman leaned over to me and told me apropos of nothing that 48% of the NFL audience is women. I told her that they should stop watching until they fix stuff. She leaned back. I don’t think I gave her what she needed.
– That’s what Kyle Orton looks like?!
– He looks like he’s late for drama class.
– Did you know Dharma and Greg’s still working, well Greg is, Dharma I’m not sure about.
– Kevin Spacey is starring in a video game. You’d think at some point he would’ve said, “can you make me less jowly?”
– If you’ve never seen a grown man throw off his viking helmet and braids, I highly recommend you get on that.
– If Warren Sapp came to my house and turned it into a Pirate Ship. I would not celebrate because my feelings would be hurt.
– Did you know Lil Wayne is coming out with Tha Carter V? He sure has a lot of baby photos.
– Well, even a Giant pulling a Cowboy’s hair isn’t enough to keep my mind off of getting something sweet from Baked in Red Hook so that’s as good a place as any to end the day.
– Time for the season finale of The Knick and the second to last Boardwalk.