Every Sunday, I spend some time watching football. I also, can’t focus, don’t like spending too much time at one place, and don’t like football that much.
Here are the thoughts I collected:
– So many people move out of New York City. My wife Brandi and I are worried that in order to avoid being alone when we’re old we’re going to have to leave the city and start tweeting to the Today Show.
– Our first stop was a place called Flipsters. I’ve called it Burger Bar for years. There are a shocking number of bars and restaurants that I frequent whose names I don’t know.
– I want you all to close your eyes and then picture the sad life of someone who uses the Domino’s App to order only dessert. Then I want you to order a Domino’s Dessert.
– I don’t know what Master Chef Junior actually is, but I’m against it.
– A quick story: on the drive to Philadelphia, my friend Andy began a running joke. While talking about an Orioles pitcher he hated named Danys Baez, he began reading off the pitchers stats and after each one he would proclaim, “It’s not good!” It became one of the themes of the weekend and a favorite of mine. I had him record it for me to share with the world.
– Babin tackles Berger should be the headline tomorrow. (Video not available, but Babin is on the Jets and he tackle Big Ben after the whistle. I enjoyed it.)
– A crazy woman mocked Brandi for wearing a Jets jersey. Brandi, was wearing a Nets hoodie. Did I mention there were unlimited mimosas?
– Michael Vick got his helmet knocked off in a cheap shot that pleased everyone.
– My first, “I hate you Deron Williams” occurred at 7:08 in the first quarter following a missed layup.
– The greatest aspiration that I have for my future children is for them to be Nets Kids Dancers. I would say Knicks City Kids because they’re bigger stars, but I feel like that would be a hell of a commute.
– Are you supposed to boo the dunking divas? Because I did. In general, I love them, but she missed a dunk.
– Unlocking the Truth was at our game and when they were put on the Jumbotron me and my entire section replied, “who?”
– The Nets play DJ Cool during jump balls and I commend them for their flouting of society’s conventions.
– 7:27 into the 2nd Quarter – my second “I hate you Deron Williams.”
– Mason Plumlee Alley Opp! He’s the first Duke player I’ve ever liked.
– Everybody clap your hands! Click the link and think try not to do it.
– Ellen Pompeo is on the Jumbotron now. We don’t get the big stars yet.
– It’s the 3rd quarter and a balding guy named Bogdanović is our leading scorer.
– Mason Plumlee has become the color of my wife’s shower curtain.
– Possible nicknames for Alan Anderson: The Program, Rehab, 12 Step, The Bra, The Battery, The Power, Duracel, Mr. Anderson, The Matrix, The One, Neo. Balls in your court Alan.
– Well, Bojan Bogdanović had more points than the people that we put on the front of our stadium.
– Here’s me picking KG’s nose.
– Alright, lets get home and watch….I guess Getting On. Guess who loves Niecy Nash?