Tag Archives: Brooklyn Nets

I Kinda Watched Football Yesterday

I Kinda Watched Football Yesterday

me meme

Every Sunday, I spend some time watching football, I also can’t focus, don’t like spending too much time in one place, and don’t like football that much.

Here are the thoughts I collected:

With two days of Playoff Football I decided to do two days worth of Kinda Watching Football.


    • Last night I went to the Brooklyn Nets game. The upside of the two New York teams sucking is that I get to go to a lot more games. Whatever it takes.
    • For dinner we had Gyros from a Halal cart. In the past few years Halal carts have taken begun to dominate hot dog carts. My dad’s a hot dog man and I’ll always love them, but a gyro for $4 is a beautiful thing.
    • I used to live 2 doors down from this Halal cart it wasn’t there then, I shudder to think our much lamb shaved from a spit that I would’ve ingested.
    • This week there was a debate in my office over the serving size of a Ben and Jerry’s pint of Ice Cream. There is only one answer: single.
    • After the game I fought every aspect of my being to not get a second $4 gyro.
    • Instead we went to 4th Ave Pub in Boerum Hill. It’s pretentious and over priced, but they have great popcorn so sacrifices were made.
    • Years ago I went to a trivia night at 4th Ave Pub, the people that I met had a douche bag with a Red Sox hat who mocked me for having a Yankees hat. We were in Brooklyn; I hate him to this day. The trivia night asked literary questions, I hate them to this day.
    • Inside the bathroom, someone decided to write something profound.IMG_0135
    • I had something profound to say as well.IMG_0136
    • On Sunday we predictably headed to Greenwood Park to watch the Packers. Living in Madison has made them our last chance to give a crap about the Super Bowl. I’m this close to appreciating the puppy bowl for its warrior spirit.
    • I’ll say one thing about this game heading to half time. The Packers should’ve scored more touchdowns and the Fox Halftime Crew look like bitches in the cold.
    • I feel like Backstrom is going to be a hit and I’m going to be sad about the state of society.

    • The Seahawks have a Right Tackle named Sweezy. That is all.
    • Stannis is in the Game of War Commercial! Stannis is in the Game of War Commercial.Screen Shot 2015-01-18 at 7.59.49 PM
    • I know not really, but I bet he gets laid for looking like him.Esq-052013-Stannis
    • Gary Busey is not an adorable eccentric he’s a predatory pervert who would touch Celebrity Apprentice interns inappropriately and get away with it because of status. Also, he’s never been funny.
    • It looks like Russel Wilson is playing Mine Craft.russell-wilson-and-surface-1200xx803-452-0-43
    • His name is Clinton-Dix?!Clinton-Dix-2
    • Why doesn’t Taco Bell put as much money into their meat as they appartently put into their commercials? Maybe then I wouldn’t eat so much incidental rat feces.

  • I’m just kidding Taco Bell, keep on shining you crazy diamond.
  • That onside kick was just about as depressing as a thing gets.
  • Well, so much for caring about the Super Bowl. At least I still have Girls.
  • Have a good week.

I Kinda Watched Football Yesterday

I Kinda Watched Football Yesterday

me meme

Every Sunday, I spend some time watching football. I also, can’t focus, don’t like spending too much time at one place, and don’t like football that much.

Here are the thoughts I collected:

– So many people move out of New York City. My wife Brandi and I are worried that in order to avoid being alone when we’re old we’re going to have to leave the city and start tweeting to the Today Show.

– I don’t have a pool or a kid, but god help me I want an inflatable Tyrannosaurus Rex.IMG_4524

– Our first stop was a place called Flipsters. I’ve called it Burger Bar for years. There are a shocking number of bars and restaurants that I frequent whose names I don’t know.

– I want you all to close your eyes and then picture the sad life of someone who uses the Domino’s App to order only dessert. Then I want you to order a Domino’s Dessert.

– My first “way to go there whateveryournameis!” of the season for the Jets!

– I did the Jets airplane arm thing for a full 45 seconds before Brandi realized that I was watching the game.Jets Arms

– I don’t know what Master Chef Junior actually is, but I’m against it.


– A quick story: on the drive to Philadelphia, my friend Andy began a running joke. While talking about an Orioles pitcher he hated named Danys Baez, he began reading off the pitchers stats and after each one he would proclaim, “It’s not good!” It became one of the themes of the weekend and a favorite of mine. I had him record it for me to share with the world.

you’re welcome.

– Babin tackles Berger should be the headline tomorrow. (Video not available, but Babin is on the Jets and he tackle Big Ben after the whistle. I enjoyed it.)

– A crazy woman mocked Brandi for wearing a Jets jersey. Brandi, was wearing a Nets hoodie. Did I mention there were unlimited mimosas?

– Michael Vick got his helmet knocked off in a cheap shot that pleased everyone.

– Off to our first Brooklyn Nets game of the season!IMG_4532

– Continuing the trend, red wine in a kombucha bottle.IMG_4536

– My first, “I hate you Deron Williams” occurred at 7:08 in the first quarter following a missed layup.

– The greatest aspiration that I have for my future children is for them to be Nets Kids Dancers. I would say Knicks City Kids because they’re bigger stars, but I feel like that would be a hell of a commute.

– Are you supposed to boo the dunking divas? Because I did. In general, I love them, but she missed a dunk.

Unlocking the Truth was at our game and when they were put on the Jumbotron me and my entire section replied, “who?”

– The Nets play DJ Cool during jump balls and I commend them for their flouting of society’s conventions.

– 7:27 into the 2nd Quarter – my second “I hate you Deron Williams.”

– Mason Plumlee Alley Opp! He’s the first Duke player I’ve ever liked.

Everybody clap your hands! Click the link and think try not to do it.

Ellen Pompeo is on the Jumbotron now. We don’t get the big stars yet.

– It’s the 3rd quarter and a balding guy named Bogdanović is our leading scorer.

Evan Fournier has dumb hair.

Mason Plumlee has become the color of my wife’s shower curtain.IMG_4546

– Possible nicknames for Alan Anderson: The Program, Rehab, 12 Step, The Bra, The Battery, The Power, Duracel, Mr. Anderson, The Matrix, The One, Neo. Balls in your court Alan.

– Well, Bojan Bogdanović had more points than the people that we put on the front of our stadium.


– Here’s me picking KG’s nose.


– Alright, lets get home and watch….I guess Getting On. Guess who loves Niecy Nash?