Every Sunday, I spend some time watching football. I also, can’t focus, don’t like spending too much time at one place, and don’t like football that much.
Here are the thoughts I collected:
– We started the day by checking out the inspirational marathoners. BTW it was New York Marathon Day.
– My wife and I then made our way to Long Island City to a Marathon Party. Is there a better way to celebrate pushing the physical limits of the human body than drinking before noon?
– Drinking alcohol in coffee containers is a popular theme of mine.
– That’s a bloody mary. (someone is clearly drinking a bloody mary behind me.
– Let’s do a little marathon humor, shall we?
– The following runners were listening to podcasts while attempting to accomplish one of the most difficult things a human can do.
– Dunkin Donuts decided to sponsor many of the runners by giving them free pink and orange hats, which led to me yelling into a bullhorn, “America Runs on (whatever name was written on their shirt)” Brava, marketing department. I love your milk-filled coffee.
– We then made our way into Greenpoint, where we drank more and proceeded to watch the J-E-T-S, JETS! JETS! JETS! S-U-C-K, SUCK! SUCK! SUCK!
– Rooting for Michael Vick makes me more conflicted than drone strikes. That means I’m stupid, right?
– We then headed to Williamsburg for Perogies. I cannot pronounce the name of the bar and I won’t try. For the record, it was Dziupla, are you happy?
– When I was watching the marathon, I think I saw a guy with a poopie in his pantalones.
– I saw someone try to crunch a beer on their head. He was not successful and his yelps of pain while I laughed loudly will stand as a high water mark in the history of my life.
– Another aspiration that I have is to someday say “check it” before I convey information and have someone intelligent take me seriously.
– I saw a commercial for the latest Paul Thomas Anderson movie. I think that it’s amazing that Joaquin Phoenix always plays someone new, different, distinctive, and real. I also think it’s amazing that I always find those people irritating.
– Before I leave you and watch, jeez, I guess Homeland, let me share with you a thought. Animals are awesome. Animal heads are awesome, I would prefer they were fake, but I’m not regimented on this belief. I believe that every animal head should be wearing a Yankees Jersey, sunglasses, or be in some other way adorned. They are there for our humor. This may be a white trash belief. However, it is a belief.
– Enjoy your week.