Tag Archives: Mike Carrey

I Kinda Watched Football Yesterday

I Kinda Watched Football Yesterday

me meme

Every Sunday, I spend some time watching football, I also can’t focus, don’t like spending too much time in one place, and don’t like football that much.

Here are the thoughts I collected:

  • This week, I finally saw the monkey movie. Boo. 2 Problems:
    • Does it bother anyone else that the monkeys got smarter, but now they no longer understand monkey grunts? Are we to believe that monkeys don’t understand monkey grunts when they’re just stupid monkeys?
    • I believe that it would take a apocalyptical situation where I didn’t hear music for months and everyone I knew and love died in order for me to enjoy the song, “Take a load off Manny”


  • The first place we went was The Good Fork in Red Hook, Brooklyn.


  • We road our bikes and on the way we passed the Brooklyn Ikea and I said a little prayer of thanks for not having to enter that Swedish Circle of Hell. I believe that Ikea is the fourth leading cause of fights between couples in Brooklyn. The rankings are as follows:
  1. Where do you want to eat?
  2. Hidden conservatism
  3. You’re spending too much time blogging
  4. Ikea
  5. Your beard trimmings are everywhere

(these rankings are of course official, binding, unwavering, and not up for debate)


  • When we sat down to eat we noticed that the bloody marys were served in a pint glass, which as far as I’m concerned should be a rule mandated by God. In response to that information, I used the phrase, “done and also, done” in a Paul Reisery turn. The man reading next to me seemed to hate me just a little bit.


  • I had Korean Fried Chicken. It was awesome. You should go there.


  • While we were still in Red Hook we headed to Rocky Sullivan’s. It’s a cool Irish Pub that only plays New York teams on the television so I was able to enjoy the Jets losing.


  • Did anyone see the NFL commercial for nomore.org? Is that the most half-assed attempt at something ever? “Domestic disturbance is a difficult conversation to start”? Is it? Try this: Don’t do it. I feel like I would respect the NFL more if they just said, “Hey, a lot of us are scumbags, but you won’t stop watching will you?” Them pretending to care feels condescending.


  • After one drink at Rocky Sullivan’s, it was time for coffee and dessert at Baked. Nothing funny, just good.


  • We then headed to the Brooklyn Flea and its beer garden, Berg’n. I did not like it last week and I was hoping it sucked because it was the first week and possibly over hyped. I was wrong. It just sucked.
    • They played “Take a load of Manny”.
    • They served cider in a half filled wine glass.



  • Two dreams that I desperately want to come true, but I’m not putting any effort into making happen:
    • Becoming famous in Australia
    • Starring in my own series of commercials.


  • Mike Carrey (the guy who explains NFL rules on TV) looks like an SNL sketch character.mike_carey-300x288


  • Today I’m rooting for the Raiders and the Eagles, because I dislike Jim Harbaugh’s billowy pants and Pete Carroll’s incessant gum chewing.la-sp-sn-jim-harbaugh-walmart-pants-20140115-001 petecarroll



  • Who do you think is dumber, a lead singer or a quarterback? Same question for drummer and tight end. I say, lead singer and drummer, with that said a manager of a TGI Fridays is probably smarter than both.


  • My wife and I got into a debate over whether or not Pink Floyd meant to do the Wizard of Oz thing. Brandi said yes, I said no. She’s done it, I haven’t. Someone get me some weed, I have to win an argument.