Every Sunday, I spend some time watching football, I also can’t focus, don’t like spending too much time in one place, and don’t like football that much.
Here are the thoughts I collected:
With two days of Playoff Football I decided to do two days worth of Kinda Watching Football.
- I gave up caffeine, I am not happy.
- I went to see Inherent Vice, the latest film from Paul Thomas Anderson. I haven’t really enjoyed a Paul Thomas Anderson movie since Punch Drunk Love. I’m not sure who changed, him or me. I’m not sure if 20 year old me would love Inherent Vice or if 31 year old me would hate Punch Drunk Love if I saw it for the first time today.
- My quick review is that it has one of those plots that is so complex that I don’t think you’re supposed to know who or what is going on. With that in mind, I think that if the plot doesn’t matter than the process should be really funny. Unfortunately, I found the jokes to be mostly NPR Funny, but this opinion might be largely influenced by my sleepiness, my headache, the speed with which people spoke about plot details that I didn’t understand, and the fact that I saw the film at the BAM Theater which I judge as the home of many NPR listening, indie rock listening, douchey Brooklynites who giggled smugly at things I didn’t think were funny. (I fully understand that I belong to the subculture I just described, but I think most of them don’t like me, and don’t watch It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, which is the funniest show on television. Also, they don’t like pop music, hip-hop, and the NBA, all of which I love. This is all speculative and judgmental, but you must understand I consider myself to be much more complex than most people despite the fact that there is very little evidence to support this claim.)
- From there we went over to our favorite, Angry Wades, for bloody mary’s. I was much less angry after that.
- The Cardinals were playing the Panthers. Did anyone else know that these teams were good?
- I write a football blog.
- John Gruden always looks like he’s giving up caffeine or he’s pooping. Either way, it’s not good.
- Who decided that our two greatest comedic actors capable of playing multiple roles were Rob Lowe and Flo? I’m going to consider it a conspiracy.
- Why can’t we buy insurance from Eddie Murphy? I still wouldn’t, but at least that would make sense in my brain.
- The first place we went was a new place called Boom Wich, I wasn’t sure if it would be complete bullshit or just a sandwich shop that played hip-hop. Luckily, it was the latter. Thanks Living Social!
- Predictably, we went back to Angry Wades for bloody marys.
- Apparently, no one gives a fuck about the Bengals and the Colts. Seriously, this is the first Sunday we could get a seat all season.
- After that we went to Old Faithful, Greenwood Park.
- Do you think the CBS Football crew have each other over for dinner or do you think they’re a bunch of catty bitches. I bet if they do have each other over for dinner they hate whomever Deion brings.
- Howie Long is wearing a three-piece suit with sneakers. Fuck Howie Long.
- I might want to move to Detroit. I have a pretentious and stupid dream of being a hipster pioneer who will buy incredibly cheap real estate and start a business for very little and be a part of a douche renaissance that more closely resembles the Brooklyn I saw in the movies I watched growing up.
- I will never move to Detroit, but I am rooting for the Lions against the Cowboys.
- I feel like whomever designed Kate Upton’s outfit in those lumberjack video game commercials is afraid we’ll forget she has boobs. We won’t forget.
- Well, that’s about it. Sorry Detroit. Enjoy your week.